for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
