Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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