If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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