Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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