thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
