So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize