You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
