We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
