I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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