At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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