brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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