I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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