Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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