escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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