I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
porn star boner night. come get it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
