We got so high we made milksteak
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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