So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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