Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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