careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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