I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
