Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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