Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
