I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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