I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
