DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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