I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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