the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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