I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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