No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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