You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
