Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
