I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
