I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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