I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
