New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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