This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
