some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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