brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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