yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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