He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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