Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
