I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Who died my cat blue again?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
