i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
