I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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