Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
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still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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