where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
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I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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