I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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