1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
