well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
