I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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