Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
