I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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