I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
