She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
