i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
