I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
