I want to have your abortion
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
