I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
