who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
