508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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