omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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