Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
