i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
