it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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