No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
