So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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