They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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