he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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